In her wildest daydreams
by chapstickhobo
Summary: Six months after breaking up with George Weasley, Hermione Granger has developed a rather unhealthy addiction to the twin's Patented Daydream Charms. It is well past time for an intervention - and the twins fully intend to give her one - but first there are a few questions that need answering... Eventual HG.FW.GW, Heaps of Angst. I'm hopeless at summaries. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** If angst isn't your thing you should probably turn back now. I've done my best to keep the twins in character, but since they are shown as more of a persona than actual people in the novels, that is a hard thing to do. No one can be lighthearted and funny all the time. Everyone get's angry, everyone yells, and everyone falls in love.

I'm sure the twins do too, or would. Just know that it's only going to get worse further on.

This will eventually be a Fred/George/Hermione story, but I can't guarantee it will end happily.

Obviously this is AU, since Fred didn't die.

Hope you enjoy.

**DISCLAIMER:** _(insert typical disclaimer text here)_

* * *

Hermione closed the door to her apartment with a swift kick of her foot, throwing her bag uselessly into a corner before practically launching herself onto the couch. Her fingers already fumbling for the drawers of her end table.

She had been waiting all day for this. Hermione knew it wasn't healthy, but it seemed it was all she ever looked forward to anymore. Still, as she groped around in the mostly empty drawer she realized that she would have to confront her problem sooner than she ever planned to.

She only had 4 of the beautiful little charms left, she would have to go back to buy more soon. Then it would be inevitable. They would want to have 'the talk' with her. She had barely avoided sitting through the whole spiel last time around. Being fortunate enough to stop by when they were busy, she had placed her unreasonably large order with Verity who had the good grace to be too blonde to suspect that there was anything off with her purchase.

Still, she knew they would have figured it out by now. They tracked her purchases very closely now-a-days. Not to mention it had hardly been a month. To have gone through so many in so little time...

Hermione knew it was bad. She just couldn't bring herself to stop. Every attempt at weening herself off or going cold turkey had been met with speedy relapse. It was just too hard to live without them right now. One would think that someone who had lived a life as trying as her own would be a smidgen better at dealing with loss. Yet...here she was.

_Could I be more pathetic?_

Pushing her shame away with a rough shove of resignation, Hermione popped out one of the four remaining charms. 3 left. She had gone through more than that in a single night before...but she would have to ration them now. Who knew when she would be able to get her hands on another set.

_Probably not._

Grasping the little pink bobble in her hand like a lifeline, Hermione lay back on the couch and allowed herself a moment of self-loathing before she murmured the quiet incantation. The wonderful haze of the daydream charm immediately engulfed her and she slipped into the easy familiarity of her fantasies.

* * *

Despite Hermione's attempts to ration and abstain, the remaining charms hadn't even held for a week...and so here she stood – outside a shop that could turn even the most determined scrooge into a lighthearted prankster – feeling like she was about to willingly walk to her doom.

_There's no other choice, _Hermione chastised her own panicked mind. _I have to go in. _The twins had stopped responding to her owl orders weeks ago.

Unsurprisingly she didn't get more than 5 feet into the shop before the twins caught up with her. Two identical looks of disapproval etched into their typically friendly faces.

"Please, tell me you stopped by just to see our smiling faces?"

_Dammit. _She forced an awkward laugh and tried her best to look innocent and calm. As if she weren't desperate to get her hands on the large pile of daydream charms that were almost within her reach. The pull was almost tangible, and she was having a hard time focusing enough to weave a convincing lie.

"I'm actually in a bit of a rush at the moment, you know, busy schedule...Owl me later? It's been ages, we should really get together for dinner soon...lunch if you aren't too swamped –"

_ Urg. Stop rambling. _

"We can go out to Hogsmeade or something, it really has been a while. There is so much to catch up on. I mean, I'd love to stay and chat b –"

"Just stop it." Hermione cringed. So far this had gone exactly how she feared it would, and surely it was going to get much worse before it ever got better. Despite their general cheeriness, the twins could be pretty volatile when provoked. Hermione had once joked that their temper just as chaotic and destructive as their pranks and she really wasn't eager to be on the receiving end of it. George still seemed composed enough, but it was clear that Fred was full to bursting with barely contained anger. It had been ages since Hermione had heard the twins raise their voices. To be specific, it had been since she and George broke up almost six months ago. Of course, she hadn't heard much from them at all since then.

It wasn't exactly a fond memory.

She saw George look around nervously to see if they were attracting attention, but it was so loud in the shop that the most they received was a curious glance or two.

"I'm, I'm sorry." Hermione had meant it to sound like a question, but perhaps there was a bit too much truth to the sentiment. She could feel moisture building up behind her eyes and she lowered her gaze to the floor.

She felt a gentle hand on her arm, that would be George, leading her to the privacy of the storeroom. He mumbled something to Verity as they passed the counter and Hermione held her breath as the heavy door slammed behind them, sealing out the cheerful noises of the customers.

A gentle hand pressed up on her chin and Hermione raised her eyes just enough to see their faces, but found that looking directly at them seemed suddenly beyond her.

"You need to explain. What exactly w– " Fred's voice cut off sharply as George sent him an angry look.

"It's nothing."

_Just believe me. Please just believe me and let me go. I don't need the charms, I just need to get out of here. Please just let me go. _

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"Well, you certainly don't look it!" Fred snapped back at her, Hermione caught herself flinching at the tone of his voice.

It was true, she looked a mess. Hermione knew that her typically put-together appearance had suffered under her addiction these past few months. Her normally crisp, tucked in blouses and pencil skirts had been replaced by frumpy dress pants and jumpers. Attire fit for ministry work, but not even close to her usual standards. Hermione raised a self-conscious hand to her hair, tangled mass of frizz that it was. She used to spend ages straitening it or at lest de-frizzing the curls back when she and George were together.

How must she look to them now?

_Like a wreck no doubt._

"Fred stop! ...You're not helping."

Honestly Hermione understood Fred's anger better than George's calm. After she left he had written her several letters – tried his best to be there for her as a friend – and what had she given him in return? Nothing. Nothing but a pitiful explanation and more unanswered questions. By all rights he should be just as furious at her as Fred clearly was.

"We're just worried about you Hermione. You look...well, you don't look like yourself. Hank at Flourish and Blotts said you hadn't been by in months, and well...I can't remember the last time you came to dinner at the Burrow.

_Somehow I think Molly's invitation expired when I broke her son's heart._

"I've been –"

"Busy. We know." Great, they were in full twin-speak mode now. It was strange how something that usually brought such a wide smile to her face could turn horrifying when used against her.

The door was calling to her. She could make a run for it, though they would be on her in seconds; apparating was out of the question too, unless she fancied a good-old-fashioned, early morning splinching.

"Hermione...you know what this is about. It's not healthy, let us help you."

Hermione could feel her defenses activating, the room seemed to shrink and the air was thick and hot. She couldn't talk about this, not yet, she wasn't ready. Admitting her addiction to herself was one thing, but having an intervention with Fred and George was something else entirely. "Why do you even care?" She spat in a voice filled with so much spite and resentment that she could hardly believe it had come from her own mouth. That had to be the addiction speaking, this person wasn't her. Fred and George were just trying to help...there was no reason to attack them like this.

"Just because you stopped caring about us, Hermione, doesn't mean we stopped caring about you."

It was the sort of gentle, heartfelt sentiment that one normally expected to hear from George, not Fred. In fact, Hermione could swear that even Fred looked a little surprised at himself.

"It wasn't like that," she hurried to disagree, "it's just..." impossible, disgusting, humiliating. "..complicated." She finished lamely.

The look on twin's faces was unreadable. She had never seen them look so...lost.. before.

"Is this because of th – er – because of what you said when we broke up?" George ventured. His voice made up of equal parts apprehension and genuine curiosity.

Hermione saw Fred shoot an accusing look at his brother. Clearly he had not been privy to the finer details of their relationship drama.

_Shite. ._

"I, um, sort of? Not really..." Identical brows furrowed simultaneously, and she saw Fred's fists clench by his side.

_Liar. After all they've done for you! Can't you even manage the truth?_

"Yes..." she finally acquiesced. Allowing herself to lean uncomfortably against the wall behind her, a shelf full of discarded joke products digging uncomfortably into her back.

This was it. There was definitely no backing out now. The twins wouldn't rest until they had dragged the truth from her trembling, chapped lips.

"Care to fill me in?" Fred snapped, breaking harshly through the heavy silence that had begun to form in the wake of her admission.

Though to Hermione's surprise George's voice had also begun to sound strained, and she could see the muscles in his jaw clenching as he digested her words.

"You still should have said something. I..._we_.. would have helped you. You can't just bottle things up like that" Then after a frustrated pause. "..._Merlin_ what an idiot."

"I know, I've been stupid –"

"I'm not talking about _you_." He cut her off gently, though he still seemed upset. "I'm talking about _him. _If he didn't...If you didn't..._oh Circe's tits._" George dragged an unsteady hand through his hair. _"_You could have come back, you could have confided in me, I –"

"George, no, you don't understand -"

"Neither do I!" Fred interrupted suddenly, looking between the two of them with a thoroughly vexed expression. "Will someone please tell me what the _fuck _is going on!?"

* * *

_She had lied...but she couldn't tell them that. It hadn't been a real lie anyways. She had merely manipulated the truth, told him what she thought he would need to hear in order to let her go. _

_ The distraught look on his face still haunted her. She had expected him to yell, to demand answers, to be out for blood. She hadn't expected him to become so pale, she hadn't expected him to profess his love for her, to beg her to stay. _

_ She hadn't expected him to cry. _

_ It had been so hard to leave him like that, but it was for his own good. She had known even then. _

_ Hermione **loved** George. She had never stopped loving him. _

_ But she had to leave. She had known that for months before she acted on it, laboring under the hope that it would pass. That things could return to normal. _

_ The three of them had been brewing potions together in this very room when she made her final decision. Working together on a mostly harmless explosive that the twins used in a large portion of their products. _

_ All she did was knock over some dragon's blood. _

_Fred had reacted quickly. Leaning across her to deftly catch the vial that threatened to ruin their potion. The whole incident couldn't have taken more than ten seconds, but Hermione found herself practically panting as he pulled away. The urge to hold him there almost overwhelming her. His lips had been so close, so inviting..._

_ Gods, she was a disgusting human being..._

_ It had been such an innocent gesture, but it had been the end of their relationship. She loved George, she couldn't stay with him while she was secretly lusting after his __twin. _

_ She packed her things that evening. Feeding George a half truth: that she had feelings for someone else. It wasn't easy, but she let him believe she didn't love him anymore – although she couldn't bring herself to actually say it. _

_ So she left, got herself a flat...and swore to herself that they would be better off without her._

_ Her conviction didn't last long. Fred had given her a package of Wonder Witch products ages ago...before she and George had even seemed like a remote possibility._

_Once she remembered them she hadn't held out very long._

_ The daydream charms had seemed to call to her, promising her some respite, however brief. _

_ That night, not yet a month after leaving, she had surrendered. Hermione Granger lost herself as she lay sprawled across her new couch, oblivious to reality, welcomed home by two pairs of strong arms._

* * *

She had been avoiding the both of them ever since.

The mortified expression on her face apparently told George all he needed to know. He sobered immediately, whatever righteous anger that had been building evaporated instantly.

"_Shite_! I never thought..." He seemed frustrated with himself. "I mean, you said there was someone else and I just assumed."

"Wait.." Fred seemed to be catching on quite quickly now, "You left my brother for another man?"

"No, you don't understand –" she began again, suddenly desperate to reveal what had been her darkest secret for so long.

"Of course I understand. I have quite a bit of experience with unrequited love after all" The raw tone in George's voice cut her to the quick. Surely he had moved on by now. He had to have done.

Although his eyes told her it wasn't bloody likely.

"It wasn't _like _that, please listen to me..."

"No! Whoever he is, he isn't worth ruining your life over. That's what you've been using all the charms for isn't it...to be with _him?_" It wasn't an accusation, Hermione almost wished it were. Wished it didn't sound so much like empathy.

"George, _no_. You have the wrong idea..."

"Why don't you explain then?" Fred's tone seemed to be loosing it's fire now too, though it still had it's bite. "Why don't you explain again how you left my brother for some bloke who didn't even want you."

"I lied." she blurted, before her Gryffindor bravery had a chance to desert her, continuing quickly as she saw their expression contorting into something that went beyond any anger she had seen from them thus far. "I didn't leave you for someone else, I left you _because _of someone else." The words had begun rushing out of her in an almost unintelligible string of syllables. She had to make them understand. "I left you because you deserved better than some bint who couldn't even love you properly.."

Hermione felt the distinct urge to vomit as she opened her mouth to spill the rest. Not that there was really any going back now.

"He doesn't even know...I – I never told him."

George took a step towards her, and the urge to turn and flee surged strongly through her. So took a quick step towards the door and George stopped his approach. A lost look marring his features. This was all so wrong. Hermione hadn't left so that he could look at her like that. She left so that he could move on, so that he could be happy.

"Does that mean you still – Oi! "

Fred stepped abruptly between them, his gaze darting back and forth. Simultaneously pushing his brother back while grabbing Hermione's wrist with a roughness she had never felt from him before. "No, you can't just play with us like that. Do you have any idea what it was like for us after you left?"

"Who is he?" Hermione looked up to see George's face peering around the barrier that Fred had constructed between them.

Despite the fact that she had already resolved to tell the whole truth, the actual words stuck stubbornly in her throat.

"Does it bloody matter?" Fred interjected quite rudely.

"It's him..." She finally whispered. Nodding her head almost imperceptibly towards the back of Fred's head. She saw realization, understanding, and eventually horror slowly spread across George's face, and tried desperately to pull her hand from Fred's crushing grip, wanting to be long gone before the news had a chance to sink in.

"Who is he?" Fred stupidly repeated George's question, looking genuinely confused, though Hermione thought perhaps he was being intentionally thick.

"Fred, let her go. She meant you. It's you."

Hermione stumbled backwards as Fred's grip went slack, whether from disbelief or on George's orders it was hard to tell. Her hands shot to her mouth reflexively as if she could somehow take it all back. As if something like that could ever be un-said.

"Oh God, I'm sick...I'm just._..sick."_ A dry heave rose in her throat and she spun on a dime, not giving a damn anymore what parts she might leave behind. Eager to get out before she had to see the twin looks of disgust that were surely aimed her way.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE V.2 :** I already have most of this fic finished, though I am editing as I go along.

Obviously I don't have a beta yet, so please don't hesitate to point out any mistakes you may see. Also feel free to give your opinion on where you want this to go. As I said, almost all of this is already written, but there are certain parts that I have left deliberately vague, or that I haven't filled out yet.

So there is still room for your reviews to matter.. to something other than my ego, I mean.


	2. Chapter 2

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** **Happy Valentines Day! Here is another angsty, rather depressing chapter. So at least it's holiday appropriate, I suppose. ;p**

**Perspective kept getting a bit fluid when I was putting this together. At first I wasn't sure I liked it, but after going back through and attempting to fix it I decided that it works better this way. After all, we are talking about the twins here. I thought it made a weird sort of sense for the perspective to switch about sporadically.**

**If this annoys people let me know and I will try to make it less confusing.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing.**

* * *

There was never an awkward silence where the twins were concerned, in fact, there was hardly ever any silence at all. Even when the two didn't have anything to say to each other it was never truly empty air.

That was just one upside to having a magical twin, even when you were in different rooms you could feel each other, share emotions and impressions, know the others' passing thoughts. Hiding things from each other was a difficult job. Not that they needed to do it often. Sharing dreams – sharing a life – with someone else doesn't really lend itself to secrecy.

But now..

Now there was silence. Absolute all-permeating silence. In the wake of Hermione's departure a void was forming. For the first time in their lives Fred and George not only had nothing to share, but had purposely blocked each other out. Just this once they needed absolute privacy. All their life they had been sharing with each other: possessions, opinions, identity. But now – when it was looking like they might have to share a witch, share a love – Suddenly they had become selfish, become jealous of each other.

Of course they weren't oblivious, Fred knew what some of the girls in school used to say about them. They knew that having the both of them together was a popular fantasy, they had even encouraged the rumors a bit. You know, for a laugh. The twins had always been popular, especially now that they were proper famous, but they had never actually thought...

Well, they really had never actually thought about a lot of things...

What had they expected to happen? Did they plan to eventually find their own witches and move out of the flat? To forge separate lives: separate wives, separate children, separate family? Would they get too busy to be twins anymore, only seeing each other at work and on holidays? That seemed to be what most people expected from them, it was definitely what their mum expected. She didn't like their products, their jokes...George was half convinced that if she hadn't been their mum she wouldn't have liked _them _very much at all. It was her dream for them to one day grow up, to get to be too old or too mature for pranks, for the shop.

Even now, as divided as they had ever been, it was still nauseating to think about. A life apart, to not be 'Fred and George' any longer, it was nearly unthinkable. How could anyone expect that from them ?..but then again, how could they expect anyone to accept the idea that they might never want to leave each other? No witch would want that, to be less important to a bloke than his own brother. They couldn't expect to find someone, yet alone two someones, that would be happy living the life they wanted. Growing old and having children with not just a man, but a man and his brother, not to mention his brother's family. It was just too much to ask for.

Honestly it made a sick sort of sense, for the both of them to love the same girl. That way they would never have to leave each other. Their love for her could just be another one of the thousands of things they already shared.

Fred couldn't argue that it certainly worked well on paper.

Hermione was perfect for it too. She knew them, as twins and as individuals. She was intelligent, good with kids, useful in the shop, and gorgeous to boot. They loved her and she loved them. Both of them. It was an ideal situation...and George was beginning to think it could work... _would work._

..So then why did the mere thought of it make his chest feel like it was caving in?

Was it because it would mean that he wasn't adequate? That she wasn't getting something from him, something that she _could _get from Fred? Yes, that was probably it. It felt like he wasn't good enough anymore, like he wasn't special.

Sharing her would never work. She wasn't like a toy or one of mum's gaudy Christmas sweaters that they could trade back-and-forth between them. She was a person, Hermione had her own feelings, her own opinions. It wasn't like they could make a schedule of who got her what days and for how many hours. What if she wanted to spend more time with George than with him, what if she would expect him to be some sort of thing on the side? One of them would always be her favorite. Even if it wasn't always the same twin, they couldn't expect her to love them equally.

Could they?

Fred opened his conflicted thoughts to George, trying to communicate the inner turmoil that words seemed so inadequate to describe. George merely shot him an annoyed look, his emotions still firmly closed off.

"You said I didn't have to worry." The quiet in his brothers voice worried Fred more than if he had shouted. It was looking like this was going to turn into a fight. It was hard to tell, they had never really been so at odds with each other before. Though if anything could spark a real fight between them, Fred had no doubt it would be her...

* * *

_Hermione had just moved in with them when the signs started. The lingering looks, the poorly disguised attempts to impress her, the reluctance to ever leave her alone with George. It was enough to make him wonder how his brother had never noticed before, surely he wasn't so thick. _

_ George had never confronted him with it, even once Fred was sure he knew. Even when the endearments started slipping out, shamelessly calling her 'love', 'darling, and 'pet'. Perhaps George had though he was joking then. Fred knew that Hermione certainly had._

_ When he'd nearly ruined a potion because he was distracted by the curve of her bum, revealed as she climbed up on the kitchen counter to reach their supply of expensive elvish wine, hidden way back on the top shelf. George had probably been too distracted himself to notice Fred's leering. They both found it adorable the way she still never thought to use magic for simpler tasks. _

_ George had even joined in when Fred began to scare off any customer who dared flirt with her. Though Hermione had quickly told off the both of them for being over-protective. _

_ Still, George had been patient. No, matter how brazen Fred's affection became his brother failed to call him out on a single indiscretion, and Fred understood. There was no reason to create a rift between by accusing him of fostering inappropriate affections. They had never lived with a bird before, this was probably a pretty normal reaction. It would all pass in a month or two. _

_ But it hadn't passed. Not in a month, or two, or three. _

_ It hadn't been until George began to fear that perhaps his brother might do something that he finally called him out on his actions. He had come home from visiting Lee to find Hermione nestled in her usual spot. A giant, musty old book spread open to her left. There was no room left for it in her lap, not with Fred practically passed out on top of her. She seemed utterly unconcerned with the position they were in, her fingers continuing to run idly through his hair even as she gave George a warm 'welcome home'. Fred's memory of the event consisted only of being rudely awoken by his brothers rage. _

_Even though they weren't really doing anything inappropriate, Fred still felt like he'd been caught . _

_There were no nefarious intentions on either side. Hermione had been reading, he had been tired. It had just happened. Her fingers had felt too soothing as they stroked his hair. Sleep was irresistible. Hermione had been confused at the thinly veiled hostility blossoming between them. George had lied, said that it was something related to the shop before practically dragging Fred away._

_ Then they had a long overdue talk. Mostly it was standard stuff, George told him to back off. Fred assured him that he would never come between the two of them. It wasn't him she wanted anyways, and he just wanted her to be happy._

_ George had felt bad. It was hard to knowingly put his twin in that position. To force him continually into the presence of the witch he loved but couldn't have. In the end, George had made Fred promise to keep his distance, to date other witches and focus his affections elsewhere. They hadn't needed an official vow, the twins always trusted each other._

_ There was no reason not to. After all, Fred had told the truth. He had fully intended to put Hermione out of his mind. But that was before she left. That was before there had been even a glimmer of hope. And now..._

_ Now that hope was a beacon. She had practically come right out and said it. She loved them **both**. Both of them at the same time. _

_ It wasn't a foreign concept, a lot of girls used to fantasize about having them both. Or about them having each other. They had heard the rumors back in Hogwarts. The word twincest still made Fred sick to his stomach, and if it had been anyone but Hermione, it was likely the thought would have disgusted him even now._

* * *

Fred was still in a serious state of shock, which was making piecing together coherent thoughts quite difficult. George couldn't seriously be blaming _him_ for this, could he? It wasn't anyones fault.

"You didn't, I swear! It was one-sided – or at least I thought it was...Honestly, I had no idea she – urg – Even if I _had_ known, I would have _never_ come between you two."

"And now?"

_I want her more than I've ever wanted anything before ever, but you already know that. You want her that way as well._

" Now!?" Did George have to rub it in that he would never even get a chance with her? "Now what? If she doesn't want to be with just _you_, she certainly isn't going to want to be with just _me_."

"And the other option?"

_Bollocks. _To say that Fred wasn't quite ready to discuss the possibility of sharing Hermione was an understatement.

"What other option?"

_Coward._

George felt a sudden rush of resentment towards Fred, it was an altogether foreign experience, and George could say with confidence that he didn't like it. Although, if they were going to continue along this route, it would probably become quite familiar in due time.

"Don't be daft, it doesn't suit you."

_Yes, let's share her. It won't be painful or exhausting at all, and it certainly won't end in tears._

"No, I don't think I could handle the jealousy, I mean -"

"And you think I could?"

"I didn't say that. I just think..." George had always been the more patient one, the more willing to not always have his way. The gentler, kinder twin. Though not many people knew that. Most people, friends and family included, thought the two were more or less interchangeable. "When she left you, you said you'd do anything you could to get her back." _Though you didn't seem to try very hard at the time. _ _I would have fought for her._

"Has that changed?"

Fred knew it hadn't. Not just because he knew his twin better than anyone else on the planet, but because he knew himself. Both of them would do anything for her, even if it meant competing with each other. Even if it meant living with the type of jealousy that ate away at your soul. Perhaps it would get better, less sharp, more bearable, over time.

_Fat fucking chance of that happening. _

"You're not wrong."

They both looked at each other and loosed a humorless laugh. It wasn't even a question, really. Though it was a long shot. It was impossible to ignore the distinct possibility that she might not even be willing to give it a chance. She had left once, at great personal sacrifice, in a misguided attempt to spare them the pain of her indecision. Would she really even consider coming back, knowing how hard it would be for each of them to watch her love the other, to know that their relationship was a constant competition. Merlin...she really had put them in an impossible situation.

Hermione was kind. Cripplingly so, often acting too selfless for her own good. Even if they offered, she might turn them down simply out of fear that she would cause them too much pain.

"Mom is going to lose it. She flipped when Hermione dumped you...what are we gonna tell her now?"

_Not the truth, that's for damn sure. _

Ignoring Fred's weak attempt at lightening the mood. George continued to stare at a spot on the shelf as if he found it particularly menacing. Fred was sure he had a similar 'far off' look in his own eyes.

"What if she prefers you?"

_Not bloody likely, that._

"Why would she?" Fred found he hardly had the energy to stay angry anymore. It was a ridiculous idea, and he hadn't the patience for it. The fact that George even though it was possible made his heart swell with hope – before the realization hit that his happiness was caused by the same thing that would undoubtedly make his twin miserable. It was a horrible, out of control feeling, this love.

No matter how you cut it Hermione had chosen George first and Fred second. There was no reason to suspect that would change. "But you already know _everything_ about her. You know all her guilty-pleasures and pet-peeves. You know all the trivial bullshit she'd have never thought to discuss with me because she had _you._" There was a brief pause for shame before he spouted his last thought. "and you know what she likes in bed." Though at George's searing look Fred hastily added, afraid his point had gotten lost somewhere within. "I'm still gonna have to learn all that. She'll be impatient with me. You'll always be her favorite."

For a moment Fred thought that he had gotten though. He could practically see some of the weight lifting from his brother's shoulders...and settling firmly onto his own. What _would_ she expect from him? They weren't entirely identical. What if she didn't like the differences, what if he kissed her all wrong. What if he didn't –

"You don't have any scars."

That one stopped Fred in his tracks. He knew how insecure George could be about his missing ear, Fred had seen him tug Hermione's fingers away often when she tried to tangle them in his hair. Vaguely Fred wondered how his brother handled the curse scars on his chest...or the one that curled angrily around his left hip-bone. Hermione must have seen them plenty by now, they were hard enough to hide with pajamas, let alone stark naked – and surely the two couldn't have been having sex partially clothed with the lights off for two years. Hermione had to have seen them by now, hell, she could probably describe them in detail at this point. So what was George so worried about?

Verity knocked on the door, poking her head timidly into the room. She had probably heard a good deal of the shouting, considering they hadn't cast any charms.

There was still so much that hadn't been said, but it would all have to wait until later. They couldn't leave the shop unattended for so long. For now they would have to paste their uniform grins on and go meet their adoring public. After all, Fred and George occasionally disagreed and had bad days – but the Weasley twins were always good for a joke and a smile.

Usually that was no big effort...but today it sounded nearly impossible.

* * *

**A/N V.2: **

**Hope everyone is having a good holiday.**

**:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I hate this chapter so much. I practically rewrote the whole damn thing in revision and I'm still not happy with it. I figure it's probably just a difficult transition to pull off, and that I'll go ahead and get it out of the way – for the sake of moving the story forward. **

**Later, maybe once this is complete, or one day when I'm exceptionally bored, I'll come back and spruce it up. For now..._urg._**

**DISCLAIMER: _RAWR!(*)_**

* * *

It seemed so inadequate - sending something so personal, so potentially life altering - in a letter. Not that Fred and George really had other options.

They had no idea where she lived now. The only one who might be able to tell them, the only one Hermione had really been able to talk to since the break up, definitely wouldn't divulge that information without her permission. Harry was far too loyal, far too protective of Hermione to give up her whereabouts. He had been disgusted with the way the Weasley's treated Hermione when she and George first started dating...as if it was some insult to their family that she had chosen to be with him instead of Ron. But that disgust paled in comparison to the betrayal he felt when Hermione had been cut off upon their split. Wasn't she as good as family, how could it happen that no-one was willing to take her side? How could they all turn on her so easily, without a second thought?

The quarrel had caused a rift to form between Harry and Ginny. Although the Weasley's were usually a hot-headed bunch, apparently this was one tantrum that Harry was unwilling to forgive. Hermione blamed herself, of course, as she was wont to do. As a result, Harry didn't talk to the Weasleys much anymore. He only ever really saw Ron and Ginny...and their relationships were on thin enough ice as it was.

It was out of the question for them to show up to her work. They knew she would consider it utterly immature and unprofessional to bring such personal matters into the office. They could wait for her to show up at the shop again, but who knew when that would be? Probably not soon, if ever. No, they needed to get this drama resolved _now._

No matter how much they hoped, Fred and George knew it was impossible for things to just snap back to the way they had been before. Hermione couldn't just move back in, couldn't slip back into her life as if she had never left. No matter how much any party involved might want it to be so easy. They couldn't just expect her to go back to part-time work, to spend her days beside them in the shop, mixing potions and baking candies. It would probably never be as comfortable, as natural for them as it once was.

In the end, the parchment they had sent her was barely half a foot long. They had squabbled for hours over what should be included...the decision to write only once had been unanimous It was important that they present a united front. If she thought they were divided in their affections for her there was no way she would come back. But that was just the problem.

They _wer_e divided.

Not where it mattered of course. They both loved her, they both forgave her, they were both willing to share...or at least willing to try. But the way they loved, the emotions they wanted to express, the things they thought were important for her to know – well, those were so different that it had seemed impossible, at moments, for them to agree on anything.

In the end they had settled on being as vague as possible. Including little more than the bare bones of the situation. It would be complicated enough later. This, at least, they could attempt to make straight-foreword and simple. Either she was willing to give it a go or she wasn't. The twins had clearly offered the terms they were willing to build around, and asked her to accept or reject them at face value. The only bit of emotion they had poured in was a small addition at the end. All but begging her to consider their offer, and assuring her of their sincerity.

Both had been reluctant when it came time to retire for the night. Although the letter had not gone out until nearly 23:00, the twins still fought the urge to stay up and wait for a response. It was a childish impulse, especially when they had to get up so early to open the shop tomorrow. Even if Hermione was awake to receive it right away, she would no doubt take some time to consider. Not to mention how long it might take her to compose a response...hopefully not as long as it had taken them.

Perhaps she wouldn't respond at all. Would she ever read their letter, or would she banish it upon sight? Perhaps they had been to vague, had they left any room for misinterpretation? Would she respond with terms of her own? There was so much doubt hanging in the air, so much foreign tension between the twins. Still, despite the fact they still weren't on the best of terms, Fred didn't hesitate to transfigured their twin beds into a queen. It had a certain kind of symmetry to it. The last time they had slept together was the night that Hermione had left. Before that it had been years, not since the battle of Hogwarts, when Fred had nearly died. It was something they had always done, but never really talked about. It felt natural to seek comfort in each other's presence, the fact that no matter what happened, they would always have each other was reassuring, especially in these circumstances.

* * *

There was nothing physically addictive about daydream charms. Even if one had been taking them all day, every day, for months there should be no negative side effects from quitting cold turkey.

Hermione knew that, it was a fact. A quantifiable and documented fact.

So why in Merlin's name did she feel so _ill._

There was a thin film of sweat on her skin and she couldn't seem to stop her teeth from chattering. Her heart seemed to be beating much too fast and her throat felt tight and dry. To be honest, Hermione didn't know too much about muggle science, not nearly as much as she knew about potions or healing magic, but she was pretty she was experiencing some sort of stress induced panic attack.

Not that telling herself it was all in her head did any good. It certainly felt real enough.

She had attempted to press on with life as per usual, but when her attempts to eat dinner hadn't ended well she had pretty much given up on that facade entirely. The smell of cooking meat had made her sick to her stomach, the broth tasted like ash in her mouth. In the end, for the sake of her health, she had chocked down a handful of stale crackers before attempting to pass out on the sofa.

The bed was off limits, many of her charm induced fantasies had taken place on that bed, in the dim light of her muggle television with the lingering scent of candles floating in the air.

One might think she would avoid it because of the feelings it brought, ugly, conflicting feelings she didn't need on top of everything else right now. But truth be told, that was hardly the case. It would be far too easy at the moment to hole up in her world of make-believe and hide from the reality that was overwhelming her right now. But she wouldn't surrender this time, she was done taking the easy way out.

For months Hermione had been hiding within those manufactured fantasies. Tonight however, and from this point on, she would abstain completely. No alcohol, no charms (not that she had any) and certainly no more lying to herself. Tonight she deserved to be miserable, but tomorrow...

_No more self-pity, no more wallowing. Tomorrow we face reality. Tomorrow we learn to cope. Who knows, maybe a week, a month from now we'll even start to feel normal again. It wouldn't be so bad to go out, to move on. To finally accept one of the countless dinner invitations that her co-workers kept offering._

_Yes. Tomorrow we move on..._

* * *

There was a loud bang on her window, jerking Hermione out of her semi-conscious state. Her battle-reflexes took over and she snatched up her wand, immediately dropping to the floor, ready to return fire.

The large amber eyes of the owl outside of her window looked back at her curiously.

_Of course, just an owl. War's over, Voldemort's dead. Take a deep breath._

It was a familiar owl, Hermione had sent it out herself countless times. It was the official _Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes_ owl. Fred and George both had owls for personal correspondence, of course. But it wasn't one of those owls outside her window at 1:00 in the morning. Nope, she got the business owl. That couldn't be good news.

How long had it been out there. It must have been a while, she was just too lost in her own thoughts to notice it's polite pecking at her glass. The poor thing. Hermione flipped the latch immediately and set a small bowl of water onto the counter for it. As an after thought she also set out a few of the same stale crackers she's had for dinner... as an extra reward for it's patience.

It was carrying nothing more then a small, rolled up scrap of parchment, sealed meticulously with Fred and George's ridiculous wax emblem.

Immediately she reached to tear it open, ignoring all of the voices in her head that insisted it certainly couldn't be anything nice...but as she twisted it to the side, sliding her nail beneath the wax to prevent tearing, a single pink bobble slipped out. It was a charm.

They had sent her a single daydream charm. Why?

Hermione cradled it gently in her palm as if it would break at the slightest hint of manhandling. She cancelled the shrinking charm the twins had placed on it and took a deep breath. Was it a good sign? A peace offering? A final goodbye?

The temptation to pop it now and deal with the letter later nagged at her mind, seducing her with the promise of escape from hours spent re-living and agonizing over today's events.

Except she couldn't convince herself that putting this off until later wouldn't just end up being worse. At least if she opened it now, whatever devastating or life altering news it held, the blow would be softened by the promise of escaping for an hour or so afterwords. Right?

Hadn't she _just _promised herself that she would put a stop to this madness..

_Yes, Tomorrow. But it's not quite tomorrow yet..._

No. If she didn't deal with this now it would always be: 'tomorrow', 'later', 'not now'. She needed to start putting her life back in order, she couldn't mourn forever, couldn't spend the rest of her life punishing herself for being such an indecisive twat.

With unsure, shaking hands Hermione carefully peeled off the wax and spread out the small, carefully torn scrap of parchment Holding it up to the dim light of her wand, forgetting the lamp that was easily within reach.

* * *

There was no introduction, no mention of the addressee. The twins hadn't even signed it at the end.

The handwriting was painfully neat throughout, but strangely mismatched...Hermione realized it was the effect of the Fred and George each penning a bit themselves. It was funny to see how different their handwriting was side by side. Hermione knew that George normally wrote down their recipes and product instructions. Though Hermione had never questioned why that was. Now she knew, Fred's handwriting was blocky and large, causing it to look especially childish when viewed side-by-side with George's elegant scrawl.

* * *

_We wish you had come to us about this sooner. I know it's been nearly half a year since we have spoken to each other but please believe that I miss you now just as much, if not more, than I missed you the moment you left._

_**Your room is exactly the way you left it. We hope you will consider moving back in, the shop is doing better than ever and we would be more than happy to have your assistance, even if it is only a few days a week at first. **_

_**Whatever type of relationship you might want, George and I are willing to try. Though we ask that you be upfront about any feelings or desires from now on. Please don't hide things from us.**_

_We know that despite your affections, you might not be comfortable with the idea of being with us both at the same time. Just to be clear: Neither of us like the idea of sharing you, but we are willing to give it a try. Though if you want either Fred or myself - _(there was a word or two scratched out here, and Hermione tried a quick 'revelio' charm to try and reveal the words underneath it, though it didn't take.) _more than, or instead of, the other, we ask that you tell us now. _

_**It isn't a proud moment, but we are willing to take what we can get. Please don't punish yourself anymore. You can't help how you feel anymore than we can. Don't blame yourself.**_

_We aren't mad, we're just confused. No one is saying that this situation will be easy or painless, but we hope you will consider coming back. _

_Please give us another chance. **We love you.**_

* * *

..._What?_

What was she meant to say to that?

Hermione knew what she _should_ say. She should say no. She should refuse to even entertain the thought of entering into such a volatile, self-destructive relationship...and yet she knew she wasn't strong enough to resist. Just like she had never been strong enough to resist the charms.

She had to at least give it a try.

But the couldn't expect her to...

She couldn't just...

Couldn't what? The twins wanted her to come back, but could she really just fit back into their lives that way? Moving back in with them was madness, everything would change. She couldn't share a room with George anymore...Fred would be jealous. She couldn't just keep her own room, it would be too weird if they all slept separately ..and the idea of sleeping with Fred and George on the same sheets, in the same room, when they were clearly so uncomfortable with the idea of sharing her seemed...unkind? Dirty? Whoreish?

Had they even thought it through?

Well, she had to ask herself, what would she suggest? They knew each other too well to 'date', and eventually someone would notice that she had been going out with both twins. They weren't completely identical anymore, and the twins were rather high profile...not to mention her own precarious position with the post. Being part of the famous 'Golden Trio' wasn't exactly a low profile gig.

No, if she dated them the old fashioned way someone was bound to catch on...

So what? Maybe only a few days a week at first. Perhaps if she eased herself back into the rhythm of the shop, only spent a couple nights with the twins every week. Maybe solutions would present themselves naturally. Hermione knew she was causing problems with her chronic need to over-think and plan in advance. Not all problems could be solved theoretically...sometimes, you just had to learn by doing.

Still...how was she meant to treat them now when they were all three together? How was she meant to look Fred in the eye after she had been with George...and vise-versa? It would feel so much like cheating...and Hermione would never be able to show affection to one in front of the other. She would have to make sure she never openly favored one twin, make sure she divided her time between them. Even if that wasn't what she really wanted.

What did she want?

Could she do this: love them both equally, make sure neither ever felt neglected or left out. Was it even possible to be with two people so similar without making comparisons. Hermione wasn't sure she could stop herself from comparing and contrasting them...as analytical as her brain was.

It was so much to live up to.

Hermione could feel herself spiraling into a pit of uncertainty and indecision when it dawned on her.

They love me - both of them love me.

They _love _me. _They _love _me. _

Hermione wasn't sure why, but it hadn't quite sunk in when she'd read it in ink. It hadn't quite hit her until she realized that all these problems...all these possible futures she kept dwelling on – this bottomless sinking feeling in her gut - None of it held a candle to the warm feeling that stirred in her gut as the implications twin's message began to properly sink in.

_It will work. _

It had to, they would make it work. All the harsh reality in the world couldn't stifle the euphoria that ran through her veins. It revitalized her, made her feel properly alive for the first time in too long.

_They love me._

After fighting Voldemort how could something like this ever honestly defeat them. They could do anything. It might not always be a cakewalk, sure, but what was petty jealousy in the face of their raw love for one another.

_I love them and they love me._

Suddenly Hermione felt herself overcome by the urge giggle. _The power of love. _That was basically what she was about to entrust her entire future with the twins to. She was willing to throw herself to the wolves because of the childish notion that 'love conquers all'. It was so naive that Hermione almost laughed at herself.

Living in the wizarding world had the oddest ability to make even the most ridiculously far-fetched ideas seem reasonable. Perhaps it would work out, perhaps good intentions, love, hope...would conquer all in the end. Perhaps they didn't need anything else. After all, how many times had they gone up against dark wizards, against Voldemort himself, without much more than that.

Yes, tomorrow she would go talk to the twins in person. She was ready to accept whatever it was they had to offer her, but not before she made sure they truly understood what it was they were getting themselves into.

Banishing her wand light and retreating to her bedroom Hermione placed the carefully folded note under her pillow and threw the daydream charm into her waste-paper basket.

_Tomorrow then..._

* * *

**(*) = I don't own any of this shit.**

**So ya, I'm sure there are a ton of errors, and I'm sorry...but I literally got to the point where I thought I was going to start tearing my hair out if I had to make one more change. **

**If there are any glaring errors or inconsistencies please point them out and I will fix them...if not, well...#%&#($.**

**Seriously though..****I hope everyone had a great weekend. Hopefully the next chapter will be up in a few days, I don't anticipate it being half as stubborn as this one.**


End file.
